I’ve hit this place lately in my blogging that is, once again, a place of blockage. I mean, I have composed several blogs over the past few weeks–foraging, recipes, whiny rants…you know, the usual. However, they’re all currently sitting in blogatory (that’s like purgatory for blogs, aka: ‘draft’ form).
It’s just that the world has been happening in full force and the voices that need to be heard, are NOT mine.
The best comparison I can think of, or how it feels in my mind anyway, would be walking into an open heart surgery, and then starting to talk to everyone about fresh yarrow, and my new favorite bread recipe, and then whining about my kids. There might be a person, or two, who would enjoy the conversation/distraction (I can appreciate that), but there would be a lot more people annoyed. The focus shouldn’t be on me, at that moment, and the lack of consideration I’m showing to much more serious matters–the focus should be on who actually NEEDS the attention–as opposed to me, just the one wanting it. The privilege of walking into a very serious situation and then casually chatting about things, to flaunt that privilege, just seems wrong. And tone deaf. And inappropriate. Blogging lately has felt like that. (If that makes any sense. Basically, picture Luna Lovegood walking into an episode of ER. That’s the visual I’m going with. 🙂 )
On the flip side of that, I DO have the choice in my blog to rant, and vent, and spread my thoughts on why that group of people are wrong and why my group of people are right. However, this doesn’t feel like the platform for that either. I spend so much time in my life trying to listen, empathize, connect, and join people together. Sadly, our current state is one of deep division, disconnect, not listening, and walking away from each other over differences in thought. My blog is an extension of who I am, in the sense that I want it to be a calm place. A place of kindness. A place of love. I don’t believe that my opinion, written on my blog would be a bad thing…but, I would have written from a place of deep frustration, and anger. I don’t want that. (That’s what my Twitter is for, y’all. That place is a shit storm of my opinion, scientific facts, stupid memes, and the shaming of dumb people. 😉 )
Both of those trains of thought up there collide in my mind, and they form this giant black hole of silence–hence, all the blogs sitting in blogatory.
I am going to finish this blog with the following statements, just so there is NO confusion on where I stand.
I am a follower of Jesus. Therefore, I truly believe that Black lives matter deeply. (Did I say other lives don’t matter? No. Right now, however, the conversation is on Black lives.) All lives can NOT matter until Black lives matter to ALL. Period. (If you feel like this isn’t an issue/shouldn’t be an issue, you need to ask yourself–what if tomorrow you woke up Black and were treated the way Black people are treated now–and with the way your grandparents were treated then? Would you be okay with every part of that? Is there is even ONE part of that, ONE little part, you wouldn’t like? If there is, then THAT one little part, well, that is proof bigger problem.) Also, side thought…did you ever think that no one in the Bible is white? Seriously. No one. Also, did you realize that America was NOT even a blip on the radar during Jesus’s time? It’s crazy talk, I know.
I am a follower of Jesus. Therefore, I believe that we need to care for each other. Right now, there is a worldwide pandemic happening. The politicians may not tell the whole truth, but the numbers do NOT lie. People’s lives are being destroyed. People’s health is being compromised for long after they ‘recover’. We need to wear a mask all the time. We need to wait, patiently, on big events that need to be postponed/canceled. We need to protect each other. We also need to remember that kids going back to school is about SO much more than our kids. It is about schools that can hardly afford basic supplies–where will the money come from for extra cleaning supplies? What about the staff who are older? Have compromised immune systems? Care for aging parents? What will happen if they get sick? Will they have enough sick time to cover the month, or more, they may need off? Will kids be okay, emotionally, if the staff does start to get sick? What if the kids carry that home to their own homes?
With that being said, I also understand that our world is built around our economies. If we want things to stay open, we have to all wear masks to keep our own germs from spreading to others. We have to smile at each other under it, and we have to know that we are all working together to protect each other, and our economy too. The fact that masks have been turned into a bipartisan issue is insane to me. I will not be surprised to see us go back into a lock down, and then to have masks mandated. People will scream that that infringes on their constitutional rights, and that the government can’t tell them what to to with their bodies (hello, pro-lifers?)…but, these are the consequences of our carelessness and flippant attitudes toward a pandemic.
I am a follower of Jesus, and therefore, I have NO idea how to get behind a leader who leads us by trying to divide us. Both the Black lives movement, and the pandemic are huge, and he is using them to divide us further. He is fanning the flames of hatred, and blame, and self-righteousness. He sits upon his throne of gold fortunes while smiling at the others who sit up high with him on their fortunes. He scoffs at the poor, he tries to take health care from the sick, he won’t stand up for the underrepresented, he boasts his own ego, and he mocks the disabled. Him, and his rich friends do nothing but benefit when we are all screaming at each other–we aren’t paying attention to them then. Also, I feel for him. I do believe he is a very sick man suffering from dementia. The lack of trust, and constant confusion would be terrifying in his position. It is no wonder he is so afraid of protests, and sickness. Those ARE scary things–but, a man of solid mind could lead. A man with a broken mind wants to run and hide. He can not run and hide though–he must stay in the spotlight at all times. That would be so scary. I feel sympathy for him, and I feel sadness for his followers who do nothing but blankly echo the things he yells. I also feel sad that his followers demand he continue to be in the spotlight–without feeling empathy for the tired, sick, old, man they claim to love.
I can assure you that my next blog will be something a bit lighter–as that’s how I enjoy this blog. However, I needed to make sure that you know, going forward, where I stand on everything. Yes, I write from a place of privilege with all of this–but, I write from a mind of empathy. I write from a place of love. I write from a heart that listens, and craves your story.