Hello! I’m sorta silent around here these days–but, I’m sure not elsewhere. 🙂 ( Main Floral Instagram, Sweet River Instagram, Main Floral Facebook, Sweet River Facebook, Main Floral Blog, Main Floral Website, My Instagram.) Like I mentioned before, this part of my life, this blog, kinda just has to take a back seat when life gets busy. So, as a mom to three kids–all home this summer–life is just busy. Play dates, rides, cabin time, family time, work time, church time, regular (boring) errands and appointments–blogging here just has to wait a bit. Besides, nothing I have to say here is more important than the time we have together. ❤
With all that being said–we’re heading into Fall. My, all-time, favorite season ever. (Right next to winter.) Late August feels like Christmas Eve when I was a child–all that eager anticipation. I’m just waiting to feel like ‘me’ again as the days cool, the clouds cover, the rain chills, and the wind rustles. That first cloudy, cool, dreary, windy day–I always come back to life. This Fall, in particular, feels big to me–I have big changes coming in all aspects of my life and I’m both excited, and nervous.
The one thing that is very apparent to me–this late summer–is that my mental health needs to be protected, and guarded like the goldmine that it is to me, and all those that depend on me. I need toxic folks pushed aside, I need obligations to be minimal, I need the thinness I feel stretched to currently, to recoil back to the thickness that it normally is.
I also need to pull back from client-directed, photo work. I guess you could say I’m retiring–at least for now. My clients have been, for years now, my main focus in all that I do–but, for a bit now, that has become more, and more, difficult for me to focus on. (The BUSINESS side has become more difficult for me, that is. The girl boss side. The hustle side.) I appreciate, and love, the families I work with–but, I can’t put in the marketing time, the communication time–and I can’t put in the follow-up time. And, in my line of work–that’s the bread-and-butter of it all–without those things, what do I have? Some time taking photos of people? Well, that’s a hobby. And, that’s what my photography is going to go back to, for now–a hobby.
Now, dialing things back a bit might seem like it’s a sad thing, or the ending of something–but, for me, right now, it’s exactly the opposite. It actually falls deeply in-line with almost everything I mentioned above–and, I feel, in my heart, it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be going right now. I hate feeling like I’m never able to do enough, I hate always being behind, and I hate constantly comparing myself to those who can do more because their lives allow them the time to do it. All of those things effect my well-being, and my stress levels–and, I’m done with it.
This Fall, instead of marketing, hustlin’, stressin’, and running–I will be taking over the position of Youth Ministry Coordinator within my church. I was called to this position, and even before the deep thought I put into it–I felt that this was supposed to be where I was going/growing, throughout this season of my life. It felt like a natural fit to me, and to all of those supporting me.
At the same time I felt as if my mental health needed protection, and the thinness of who I had been becoming needed to be thickened again–an opportunity to be present in the lives of the teens around me, presented itself. And, within that opportunity I realized that A) teens, and adults–we aren’t that much different. Things are always hard, and confusing. Adults just know more real stuff–despite what teens may think. 😉 And, B) my pause, my wholeness, is being presented to me through a higher power–and, I could choose to keep hustlin’, or I could choose to listen to the pause, and follow the calm presented to me.
The choice, despite days of deep thought, was so simple, and the answer was just waiting me to focus in on it. All the time I have spent with late night emails, and editing, and connecting, and vain attempts at internet notoriety and photographic publications, and as [consequently] a very tired mom–is being shelved for now.
The hobby that I used to be OBSESSED with, my photography, will hopefully, actually, come back to being something I’m obsessed with. (It will in time. I’m positive. I miss my art–not my ‘job’.) And, the path that I’m being lead down–the one that feels calm, and allows me to stay connected to the ones in my life that really matter–well, that’s the one I’m going to continue going down. That’s the path that feels beautiful, thriving, and true. I have always been successful when I follow my faith–and, again, that is what I am doing.
So, throughout this Fall–look less for hashtags from me, and more for feelings from me. Look less for paid work, and more for passion projects. Look less at the shiny surface, and more at the rugged depths–I’m excited to dig into the next phase of my life–I’m excited, and trusting, that the next season will be the best yet.
For my few, current clients–I’m, absolutely, still around.
For any new/returning clients–I’m so sorry that I can’t be around as you need me. I, absolutely, have some great references that I would love to pass on to you if you would like! I thank you for understanding. ❤