Last week was the first week things started to feel balanced back out in my world. I started thinking about the ‘rejection’ blog I posted awhile ago and realized that it wasn’t the rejection that was getting to me as much it was the whole unbalance thing that was becoming too big to not notice. (Though I, personally, hadn’t noticed it yet–or, hadn’t wanted to. There was a weird denial thing happening.) I didn’t have the time I needed to put into the things I really wanted…and, well, they didn’t happen. No surprises there, when I look at it more clearly. At the time, and through the next few weeks, crying, and giving into stress, felt like the easier path. Writing it out, actually, just let me see it from another perspective and the pieces seemed to fit together more clearly. It helped me figure out what I needed to do, to get back to where I needed to be.
And, that’s just what I’ve been doing.
I got a new haircut–for the second time in three years. My do, was overdue, for a redo. (That was kinda clever, huh?) And, I got new glasses, for a new look.
I’ve worked up a great sweat, a few times. And, a little sweat, several more times. And, no sweat (like, while biking with the kids) even more times than that.
I bought a book that I was excited to read, and am, currently, in love with. (Yes. It’s a Young Adult novel–however, once I found out that Tim Burton’s next movie is going to be Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, I decided that I really should read it first. My daughter is all about reading it next…so, future conversation bonus points.)
I’ve found some really fun, new, projects to work on with the little guy. He likes fast, messy, art…so, I find projects that will make maximum mess, in the quickest amount of time–all while leaving me with the coolest, end result, possible. (I have new modern art now…and to think, I almost bought a piece at Ikea.)
I started a new, side, site. I’m just posting just cell shots there. It’s nothing special–but, it is enough to keep me feeling artistic, and it challenges me to post thoughts, too. Plus, it’s nothing that I’m doing for anyone else–so, it makes it really easy to want to shoot more for it, and post more, as well.
And, I’m just trying to spend more time out. Nothing big, nothing fancy. Just a bike ride to the park, when I might otherwise stay in. An evening at my sister’s, when it would be simpler to stay home. A little yard work, before the sun goes down, that I might otherwise figure I can’t finish in time, so I’d skip it.
It’s amazing how quickly my sense of self can get buried, if I accept that as an answer, or start wallowing in self-pity. It’s so much simpler to want to curl up and stop…but, moving ahead feels so much better–like, I conquered something big, or something. Either way…moving away from feeling sorry for myself is a great thing. Now, we’re on to spring break, and mall trips, and big projects that will complete big goals… 🙂 (That just means ALL of the art supplies in this house need to be gone through and sorted. It’s much bigger, and scarier, than one might think…)