Dammit Facebook, I’m a Lover, not a Hater.

Just FYI: I went ahead and deactivated my personal FB account. I didn’t do it lightly. I mean…I spent a few hours thinking about it. And, then the realization kicked in that if FB were real, I would have dumped them as a friend years ago.  They’re kind of an asshole.
In case you’re curious…here are my thoughts behind doing so:
-I can’t HANDLE another election around that joint. I mean…all the memes, and commentary that the extreme right, and left wingers post, ALWAYS change my entire way of thinking and my deep, personal, beliefs–but, I guess I’ll have to go think for myself now. I’ll let all the extremes just keep doing their job in polarizing America even more–and then I’ll let them post memes about how polarized we’ve become and blame the other side–without getting to see all the really productive, thoughtful, and deep comments that are posted along with said memes. Oh well. My loss.
-I am SICK of seeing people bitch about how great this county was, how it’s getting destroyed, how we need to make change, how we should all be doing something different–and then attach a hashtag and go back to the movie they’re watching and the chips they’re eating. Ya know who’s actually out there, WORKING their asses off for change? The protesters in Minneapolis and at the 4th precinct. They’re even attaching hashtags, WHILE doing something to better the cause they believe in. Over-productive, show-off’s…jeez.
-I have lost faith in my own community due to FB. In the Champlin Community Boards a couple weeks ago, after another young, black male, was shot to death by a cop (probably while handcuffed)–I watched the most ignorant, mean, conversations happening by folks who are, physically, my neighbors. They called well-spoken, open-minded, high school students who came to start real, honest, conversations, horrible names; they threw out ridiculous stereotypes; they judged by names, gender, and color of skin–and, they justified it all because, according to them, all lives matter. One teenager had to remind several adults that they are the pillars of this community, another came on to remember how her ten year old self used to wake up wishing to be white–and then saying that she prayed no ten year old kids of color were witnessing this level of hate by the adults around them. (She was bashed for saying that, btw.) A couple days ago, a mom posted that her son had his iPhone stolen from the middle school that my daughter attends and asked parents to be on the lookout. Almost the entire conversation derailed when she started getting bashed for giving her child technology. It’s constantly like this. I can’t pretend it’s not real.
-I have zero desire to sit through another round New Years Resolution posts, and, consequent bragging about workouts that are being done.
-I’m sick, to death, of all the hypocrisy. Yup. We NEED to be doing more to help our own vets, and our own homeless–but, that starts with us. Like…you. Me. Us. Posting about how terrible it is that we don’t, how we shouldn’t be helping anyone else, and then posting a ton of photos about ALL the material possessions you bought your kid(s) for Christmas is, well, ridiculous.  Posting photos, and memes, in the imaginary land of the internet and talking about all that needs to be done–and then, literally, doing NOTHING about it in the real world is…well, I’m not even sure I know a word to describe that. I have several friends who are constantly saying that ‘all lives matter’ and then post the nastiest things about refugees, and anyone who isn’t white. They even suggest that running over black protesters would be a way to deal with them–all while saying, repeatedly, that all lives matter (unless they don’t matter to them, that is).
-I love all of our differences. It’s what keeps the conversation going at a coffee shop with friends. It’s what keeps us special. It’s what this country was built on, actually. However, if you’re different on the internet, you are one, big, target. If you tell a Republican that you’re a Democrat, you’ll be slammed. If you tell a Christian that you’re an Atheist, someone will condemn you. If you don’t raise your children exactly how the other mom does it, you’ll be told you’re wrong. If you stick up for the girl in the community group who is getting bashed, you’ll be called a ‘stupid fucking little white girl’–by a man that lives a couple minutes away from where you work. (I’m her btw. I’m the stupid fucking little white girl.) Most of the time, if you DO state your true beliefs, someone WILL attack, no matter what. Facebook is one, big, fight, basically.
-I’m pretty sure that the internet, and FB, ushered in the end of all logical, reasonable, rational, conversation, and thought, in normal folks. I can’t IMAGINE having a FB quality conversation with people in real life. I would look at the person I’m talking to like they’re nuts. If they just started randomly doing anything that I have been talking about in this post–I’d be backing away slowly and wondering about their mental stability. On FB, it’s the norm. And, it’s totally accepted. Doesn’t that seem really, REALLY, messed up to anyone else? And, then we justify it because of photo sharing!? Social Media traps you into thinking that you can’t be okay without it–yet, billions of people all across the world are, and have been, completely fine–happier, in fact.
-I can’t stand passive aggression and fakeness. I have a girl on my friend’s list who CONSTANTLY posts about how offended she is that everyone is always offended–and, then, she posts super offensive things on purpose. I know another girl who constantly posts about how excited she is, and how great everything is–the problem there is that I know better. 75% of what she says is a complete lie. I have another guy who constantly posts giant rants, and ‘open letters’ to political leaders–it’s obvious that he’s just hoping to get one to go viral and find his 15 seconds of fame. I have witnessed countless people complain about the lousy service they’ve received while out in the real world by starting off a status update with something like, ‘Dear Crappy Barista…’. (Why wouldn’t you just talk to the manager?) I have several friends who like to talk ‘to’ their coworkers, via status update–asking them to chew quieter, blow their nose softer, or speak softer on the phone–problem is, their coworker will never even see it, and they won’t ask in real life. Weekly, I witness a few of my more ‘conservative’ friends bitching about how hard it is to be white and/or Christian and it makes me want to slap them.  And, I’m super sick of all the finger pointing at the other ‘side’–because it’s always someone else’s fault that things are all messed up. This crap makes up half of my Newsfeed on a daily basis. It’s ridiculous. I’m inundated with this, all day, and it wears me out. I’m WAY too sensitive to find this to be okay–and, the thing is, I feel like it’s getting worse, and worse, all the time. Also, I’m on FB by choice. I am choosing to be annoyed, frustrated, and angry–and, I’ve been making that choice everyday for way too long.
-However, I will miss, more than anything, the good, personal, news and photos from those I appreciate, and love, the most. I may also have issues when it comes to services I’ve logged into using Facebook. Until now, those have been my only, real, reasons for sticking around. I may also miss being able to easily grab photos from FB to print…almost all the quickie places I print from allow me to do that. Obviously, my job requires I’m on FB everyday (Social Media Manager and Photographer here…)–so, I’ll continue to do that from a separate page. I can keep up with business pages, events, and such, via my photo page. I figured I’d give this all a month and see how it meshes with my career and social life. The other thing I love, is that I can look back on FB like an online diary–it’s really fun to look back and have everything in one place. However, I don’t share that much anymore, anyway…
This post isn’t supposed to seem like I’m better than anyone, or that I hate anyone–I just have some common sense left in me and am choosing to use it and walk the hell away from a bad situation. My photo page will, of course, still be as active as ever. I will keep posting, like crazy, for Main Floral, Sweet River and Anoka, the Halloween Capital of the World. I may be back, too…who knows. I mean, it’s Friday night, and I have no idea who I’m going to tell that I’m drinking wine, decorating for Christmas, and watching a movie to… 😉


2 Comments Add yours

  1. Brian says:

    Mel, sadly your rant isn’t unique, new, or earth shattering. If I had a dollar for every rant like this… I don’t say that to diminish your point but to emphasize it. So many people feel the same way yet the narcissistic rantings, the “I’m right your wrong”, look what I got, people are dumb, the Earth is dying, society has been destroyed post still continue. There are people I have known in real life whom I’ve chosen to distance myself from because of the content they add to FB, some know and others probably never will. FB for me is an outlet for my photography, I do my best to stay out of the mess you’ve described but on occasion (probably whiskey induced) I’ll get into comment battles and will ultimately regret opening my keyboard to it.

    That said, I don’t expect FB to be all rainbows and unicorns but I do expect civility, honor, and respect. Those three things have been lost. Imagine a FB where discussions are held like respectful grownups, picture posts that are completely antagonistic get ignored, and dream of posts that activate people for the good of others; that is the FB we need.

    I’ll miss seeing you there but I’m sure we’ll connect elsewhere. 😀

    Add to the beauty!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. csyoungjr says:

    Great points you make. Social media makes it easy for people gravitate towards there own affinities; when political, they do so much more in lieu of having face to face open discourse. My approach, is to tell friend they are alienating half their friends when they spew one side political propaganda. Instead find someone you disagree with and meet to listen to each other’s point of view. If they continue, I simply unfriendly. I suggest you stay on as a voice of moderation, respectfulness and reconciliation.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s